It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
