When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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