Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
