What a fucking waste of an outfit
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
