Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
