my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize