just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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