Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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