have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
