Me too!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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