I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize