Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
