THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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