what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
