Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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