He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
