This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
