You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
