you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
