Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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