Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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