yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
