We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?