can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife