I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
