i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize