Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
