just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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