The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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