if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
