oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
