That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
