So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
