she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
