turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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