Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
