Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
