seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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