Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.

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(203): hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother. http://tfl.nu/cqrd

Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (3722)
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(515): View more from Iowa

i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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(515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd

Replies (22) Good night (966) Bad night (4403)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.

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(225): We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed. http://tfl.nu/eoiy

Replies (24) Good night (1446) Bad night (5467)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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(443): Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert? http://tfl.nu/7qpe

Replies (8) Good night (1042) Bad night (2531)
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(619): View more from California

He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.

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(619): He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated. http://tfl.nu/4d8a

Replies (6) Good night (2540) Bad night (1157)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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(479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb

Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (527)
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(214): View more from Texas

Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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(214): Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time. http://tfl.nu/18ab

Replies (19) Good night (2414) Bad night (533)
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(707): View more from California

Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

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(707): Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth http://tfl.nu/or2s

Replies (17) Good night (576) Bad night (1796)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?

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(859): I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown? http://tfl.nu/qdbc

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (774)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

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(412): My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey. http://tfl.nu/rdvv

Replies (3) Good night (1068) Bad night (449)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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(701): Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one. http://tfl.nu/mish

Replies (8) Good night (689) Bad night (907)
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(248): View more from Michigan

sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.

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(248): sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom. http://tfl.nu/qeu4

Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (360)
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(626): View more from California

My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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(626): My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing, http://tfl.nu/i8yq

Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (290)
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(727): View more from Florida

Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.

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(727): Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird. http://tfl.nu/lyco

Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (320)
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(707): View more from California

I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.

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(707): I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/sn1z

Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (167)

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