wat bout pragnant strippers??
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
