this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
