He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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