The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
