Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
