Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
