I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
