I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
