My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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