So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
