I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
