can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
