you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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