don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
