If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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