I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
