I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
