dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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