He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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