I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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