He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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