I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
