He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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